there was an instance when,
clean shaven, making love with our girl,
i did not recognize your face
in that moment your countenance upset me
leaning forward, returning my gaze
who is this person? this man?
in my bed, in my lover
i was afraid and then
your features rearranged themselves
your expression
once again familiar terrain
my chest relaxed but found no ease
i have looked at you for years
studied your face while you sleep and
in our waking moments together
i find you there
my beloved, more patient and gentle than i can express
my frustrating young man
my friend with the inappropriate humor,
an easy smile and eyes glinting with mischief
my husband whom i choose to walk this path with
even when the way is uncharted and wild
and there are no maps
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