what can i imagine of a life
that isn't the one i'm flying home to
only a kitchen table
light through an unfamiliar set
of curtains
mathematics of unraveling
what numbers do the words
'i am done' call up
a deep breath
B. holds me near & reminds me
be gentle - you're the only sister i have
unfolding muffled truth
dusting off clarifying questions
narrate actions, live subtitles
so that my signals my intentions
carry clear out over the canyon
& reverberate back again
like a bell
a sound of resonance
the sound of compassionate truth
unconditional
- - -
we avoid small positive gambles
to our detriment - because we are
loss averse. you win some. you lose some.
the sense of loss looms larger
stings more even than doubled gains
my big losses are old
rare events over-weighted
i need to let go of my life
as it is now with both hands
so that i can greet the
garden unfolding around me
life beyond the wall & the question mark
the force field retracted
this was a net positive
this was a winning proposition
to talk about cutting losses
without her feels gross though.
but to consider it together
feels like something i'd like to do
what am i talking about anymore
concentration destroyed by a simple
means of address Gents... something to drink?
© Erika Stanley 8.26.13
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