to the rumbling hot of the furnace
in its first morning pass
pieces of the dream slipping away
like the slinky evening gown I’d worn
strange juxtaposed with the giant army backpack I carried with me
we come to an intersection
me in the back of a van
no seats
two faceless strangers up front driving
all the boxes of my things
a chaos of belongings shuffling around
as the vehicle came to a stop at a T
strange city outside
surrounded by boxes and me searching endlessly
through the pack I carried
I found wadded up bills
discarded carelessly in corners
surfacing where first there was only spare change
yet the key
the stupid hotel key card
ticket to my re-entry to loved ones in unfamiliar territory
it would not appear
before that ride, I’d plopped down on a big round seat
in a field outside an arena
digging through that bag for maps to find my way back
realizing over and again that more things surfaced
as I dug through the contents
these important pieces that I had thrown in here in a jumble
in my haste to carry it all onward
a young girl took interest in my digging
but what began innocently
her curious questions and sidling up beside me
ended with her father accosting me
and me punching him in the face
I somersaulted backwards off the seat
away from the mounting confrontation
in the beginning my mother was there
we were sharing a hotel room
friends gathered in this place for some big event
we partied before the opening
I saw some of our group go off with full access back stage passes
they gave me beer
I left it behind each time I sat
pausing to dig through the contents of the bag
it seems I am separated from the people I care for most
by my carelessness with important things
and by my overwhelming disorganization
© 2008
