on the day Prop 8 was overturned
i looked at how much i spent on our
wedding bands
for the last time
229,000 lire
at the family of goldsmiths outside Arrezzo
then i emptied our shared years of financial records from small tidy boxes
into the shred bin
hieroglyphic numerals and scribblings
standing in for the details of years of love
years when my name changed
when i spent long hours looking for enough work
when we made our way together from a basement apartment
into a new city
those years we bought juice together and a mattress
countless entries
Fu Wah $1.35, $3.89, $2.50
trolley fare, Abyssinia, Fresh Grocer, EMS,
Garden Court
the market where you bought beer
today it has been years since you spoke my name
smiled at me
wore my ring
now you are preparing to wed another
and i am still finding ways to let go
perhaps no one marries with the idea of becoming to a divorcee
but here i am, going through boxes
of memories and junk and loss
and at night i dream the myriad possibilities of our ongoing relationship
the one i have with or without you
because love has a half life which long outlasts us
last night i proposed to her
that we let go of half of everything here
even if we manage to do so
without growling at one another
throwing up our hands in surrender
to these mountains of belongings lugged across
years and miles of unfamiliar places
we would still have more than enough
© e e stanley August 2010
