quiet... alone

from this place i can look out over neighbors' rooftops

to the endlessly varied blue of sky

this small alcove view brings me back

to my parents' house

to my room as a teenager and young adult

to the hours i had to think, to pine and lament, to stay up

listening to music - to be alone...

what is it about this adult life that refuses the need

for quiet time alone - each day.

i rarely seek it

find it difficult to ask for

i've made a routine of life that makes it hard even

to notice the lack of it

funny to stumble on that want

as i carve out time to consider union

maybe that is the beginning

again

the desire for autonomy

privacy

to be able to choose

to share my time with another lover

other friends

without risk of causing pain the heart of my partner

how many families face collapse for lack of quiet time apart?

for no access to private enjoyment of the home...

how can i miss you if you never leave?

the room is quiet

i take a deep breath

gather up my pen and notebook and water glass

make my way downstairs

to rejoin you and our family for dinner

© 2009